Wednesday, April 3, 2013

DEAD







Selfie, Y'AWL!


I Will, I Won't

I won't make you hold my purse while I try stuff on.
I will make you a sammich after sex sometimes.

I will not call you names when we fight.

I won't ask you if my clothing makes me look fat.
I will make you wear your seatbelt.

I will wear the jerseys of your teams.

I won't ever impose on your dad time.
I will manifest your daydreams.
I will give you bragging rights.

I won't blow smoke up your ass if you ask me to critique your art.
I will grant wishes.
I will make a big deal out of your birthday.

I won't disrespect or disrupt your creative process.

I will impress your family.

I will flirt with you like mad.


And I swear I won't be Peggy Bundy.



People I'd Like To Hump Day

Beavis humps.  DO YOU?


Happy Hump Day!  It's Wednesday and that's my excuse.  Here are some people I'd like to hump...day.

Scarlett Johansson

Vin Diesel

Salma Hayek

Taye Diggs
Jake Gyllenhaal

Rosario Dawson
Henry Rollins
Rose McGowan (pre-surgeries)
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
Laila Ali
Fairuza Balk
Wentworth Miller
Monica Belluci
Channing Tatum
Melody Gardot
Mos Def
Charlotte Lewis
Criss Angel
Gina Gershon
Alright, Humpy Humpertons.  That's enough humping until next hump day!  Leave me a comment and tell me who YOU'D like to hump today.




Are you threatening me?


Quirky Royalty


Neue Regel: Allegiances

Duke sucks.

Nickelback sucks.

The Red Wings suck.

The Black Eyed Peas would still suck even if we saw them saving orphans in real time.

And we fucking HATE the Raiders.


Eat My Shorts, Young Man