Monday, April 15, 2013

Kismet


Fate.

Destiny.

A fixed point in time and space.

No matter what choice you make a particular event will happen.  
Paths will cross.  Events will unfold.  Lives will change.

And there is nothing you can do about it.


Depending on your spiritual background or familial upbringing, this concept conjures different feelings for everyone.  Comfort from a Jesus-take-the-wheel way of living.  Suffocation from an apparent lack of free will.  Apathy because why worry when everything is already decided?  Awe at the magic inherent in the mystery of the choices fate makes.

I don't know how I feel about kismet.  At different points, I could feel all of the above about the idea.  Terrible things used to happen to me quicker than I could recover from them.  At the time, I felt like a feather in a tornado and if that was to be my destiny, then I decided death was most welcome.

Wonderful things happen to me that I have a niggling suspicion I didn't rightly earn.  Then I feel like the arbitrary cosmic decision to bestow such gifts upon me could just as arbitrarily be taken away.  So the brilliance is darkened by waiting for the other shoe to drop...that may or may not ever come. 

Funny little life coincidences that are just too spot-on to be random mark my days frequently.  I cannot bring myself to chalk it up to random patterns that are bound to form in chaos.  I don't subscribe to any real God theories but I do feel like there is a current of energy under/around/within everything that orders itself.  There is something in me that whispers in Fibonacci numbers and The Golden Ratio.

But sometimes those funny little life coincidences expand and synchronize so strongly that you feel swept up in a tide way bigger than you.

It's a complicated coincidence with great benefit and great risk.  It's new today but you've been here a thousand times.  Teetering.  Alternately falling and reining.

Perfect positioning of a million mundane events brought all things into alignment to make this single moment happen.  In the grand scheme of things, it is nothing but a hair-width strip of magnesium -- gone in a flash.

But in your scheme of things, shit just got real.

This time spent in the Void was necessary to rebuild and refine boundaries and definitions for yourself.  To reevaluate where you stand.  We all talk a big talk but now this coincidental blip on the karmic radar is asking your ass to come wit' da bread.

It's a test.  How's your follow through?  How's your keeping of your word?  How's your commitment to self-betterment?  How's it better than the LAST time you had this conversation with yourself?

He stands in front of you, as human as you are.  He seeks harmony and balance and you know how to make that life.  You seek strength and courage and he has been looking for a reason to shine those stars.  Mutual attraction pops and crackles like ice floes breaking up.  Is it new or is it right?

A trust is being earned and passed back and forth like a chalice.  The only, only reason that is even happening so early is because everything he says -- well, it actually checks out.  He either believes his own bullshit or he is really what he says he is.  And you aren't afraid to meet his eye and speak boldly.  You tell him you see him being all these things he wants to be and don't worry, you'll just believe for both of you until he catches up.  This is exactly what he needs to know to go confidently in the direction of his dreams.

And what about your dreams?  That's part of this New Deal.  You don't sublimate your dreams anymore.  You are also trying to go confidently in the direction of your dreams.  For now, it appears that path is the same.

But....what about change?

Whether you cause the change or it's kismet, it's coming.  Are you ready for the next tide of your life?



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