I won't make you hold my purse while I try stuff on.
I will make you a sammich after sex sometimes.
I will not call you names when we fight.
I won't ask you if my clothing makes me look fat.
I will make you wear your seatbelt.
I will wear the jerseys of your teams.
I won't ever impose on your dad time.
I will manifest your daydreams.
I will give you bragging rights.
I won't blow smoke up your ass if you ask me to critique your art.
I will grant wishes.
I will make a big deal out of your birthday.
I won't disrespect or disrupt your creative process.
I will impress your family.
I will flirt with you like mad.
And I swear I won't be Peggy Bundy.