Thursday, January 20, 2011

Newest HARD CARDS- For people who can't take a hint...

Four, count 'em, FOUR new Hard Cards added to my Etsy shop today!  Check it out!

"Sorry 'Bout The Crabs" is a cheeky fun way to be responsible and let your previous partners know about their possible exposure. The cute-as-a-button smile on the crab's face and his waving claw let the recipient know that it's okay. They have shampoos for that now.

"I Can't Miss You If You Don't Leave" is a subtle hint that they've worn out their welcome. It's not a goodbye-forever kind of card, although it could certainly be used that way. It's kind of like Christmas: it loses its specialness when we're bombarded with it for a fourth of the year. Maybe phrasing it that way will help your recipient understand your intention. Or maybe you could affix it to a box of all their stuff.

"I'm A Grown-Up Now...I Can Eat Cookies For Breakfast If I Want" is the perfect sentiment to send to your parents, or any other person who continues to treat you like a child. The college freshman in their first semester, the post-grad moving out of state to start their career, the emancipated minor rubbing their parents' noses in it. Because, truly, what better way to announce your adulthood then by chowing down on Otis Spunkmeyer at 7 a.m. with wild abandon?

"You Give Me Ulcers" lets the recipient know EXACTLY how they affect you. As anyone with an ulcer can tell you, the gnawing, shooting pain in your gut definitely can put a damper on your day. Just like your recipient does. Only it's everyday. All the time. And you've had quite about enough. This card is paper Maalox, people.
Hallmark doesn't know how you feel.

We do.

Hard Cards are for those times when you need to get a message across that may be difficult to do verbally. Maybe you have a fear of confrontation. Maybe you're afraid you might kill someone if you have to say the words aloud. Maybe you have a friend who just needs an anonymous hint. Maybe you want to frame it and put it next to your mirror as a self-reminder.

Whatever the reason, these cards say what you can't.

All the cards are original works of art.  That means you are not getting a Xerox copy but an actual piece of my artist soul, channeled through my hand and out my pen into your very mail box.  Each card is lovingly, snarkily crafted and measures approximately 6" x 6".  They are hand-drawn using black permanent waterproof and fadeproof ink on 140 lb. acid-free, cold press, archival-quality watercolor paper.  This is fancy-pants stuff, folks!  Each card is shipped protected in the embrace of a sealed plastic sleeve.