Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The Universe Is Mysterious

I cannot go into detail yet but trust me when I say:  Good things come to those who wait.

If you're old like me, you'll get the reference.  If not, use The Google.

My somewhat esoteric opening of this post does have a point.  I want to tell you, dear Reader, that I've been through some sheeeeeeeee-it.  With a capital -IT.  There were times in my life where it was just one karmic pile of dog crap to the next.  You can read about some of it in my past post "Why Bad Mothers Make Good Mothers."  I even made some art that likened my soul to that of a cosmic lightning rod, magnetically attracting the pain-energy of the world in order to spare ten others from pain.  My pain was so blinding, so sharp, so white-hot I thought, "Surely this isn't normal human pain.  This must be the pain of fiv-- eigh-- TEN people!"

If you don't perish from the sheer heartbreak of it all, you begin moving on.  Into the next minute.  Crawling on bloody stumps into the next hour.  Scraping off the flesh on your face into the next morning.  And almost before you realize it, the worst of it is over.

And then.

AND THEN.

It culminates into a portion of life like what I'm experiencing now.  I don't want to put any bragging energy or gee-I-am-not-experiencing-enough-hard-knocks energy into motion out there.  (My disclaimer to the Universe.)

So don't go getting any ideas, Mister.

I'm just trying to do two things by saying that.

1.  If you're in that pain, it gets better.  I didn't believe it when I was there, but it does.  Even just statistically speaking, if you wait long enough, something has to change.  It will be good.  And it will be better than what you're dealing with now.  And...

2.  I am so so so so so grateful for my life.  I am experiencing good stuff now, but it wouldn't be nearly as sweet if I hadn't experienced the depths of the pain that I did for as long as I did.  I am humbled by the ways of the cosmos and can see how people can get all religious about this shit.

At any moment, my gifts could change.  But good and bad, they are all gifts. 

Be grateful.  Be alive.  I love you.

2 comments:

Ananda said...

Im so happy to hear that you are moving into a better place with less pain. <3

My life completely changed when I started a gratitude journal. It is so powerful. I think you might like doing one. I posted a few 'excerpts' from my daily gratitude journal on FB the other day.....

Basically I just keep a list each morning or each night before I sleep of all the things I am grateful for... they can be HUGE or little. They can be short or involved... there are no rules - other than write in it EVERY day - at least once, hopefully twice. My day gets off to a better start if I make a list of all the things I am thankful for and my sleep is more restful when I reflect upon my blessings before I drift off...

I Love you woman. You amaze

Electric Burrito said...

<3

Same boat. Spent so much time at the bottom of a well that I didn't even care anymore if I ever got out of it. But I did. And it started when I pulled my head out of my self-involved ass and started making changes outward- the inward ones came after.

So proud of all you've accomplished.